


Forget me not. Not now, not ever

by Bincxn



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-31
Updated: 2019-03-31
Packaged: 2019-12-29 21:37:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18302393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bincxn/pseuds/Bincxn
Summary: Hadn’t this been his goal all along?  Why then, did this moment feel like the end of everything, of them? Why did all he had worked towards to, feel so wrong suddenly?





	Forget me not. Not now, not ever

When it first surfaced, that there might be a solution to the endless broken hearts and oceans of spilled tears, no one had believed it. Why would anyone? It sounded too good to be true.

When it was revealed, that it was not just a “might” but a “there is” and that it would be available in the foreseeable future, no one had believed in the credibility of it. Why would anyone? It sounded like a goddamn hoax.

But when it turned out, that it was indeed not a hoax, the whole earth it appeared, was in a turmoil.  

Because, yes, indeed, they had tested the armlet. It had been the biggest “Early Access”-Event to ever take place. A whole country had been equipped. A _whole_ blasted country. It had been insanity. Everyone had thought it was insanity. But then, yes _then_ , results showed. And damn, were those undeniably positive. It was one perfect match after the other. Quote of mismatches? Zero.

Consequently, everyone wanted them. _Absolutely_ everyone. The request was so immense and people threw their money at the creators so desperately, that in the course of one year, the once low budgeted company was indescribably rich. Rich enough, to build factory after factory and install systems everywhere around the globe. They ensured that everything would be perfect for the big day. The _big_ day indeed. It meant the day, they’d turn on the systems. The day, everyone who owned this miraculous jewelry, would find their soulmate.

Theoretically.

Because, while the function of the bracelet seemed clear, the path in which it would achieve it, was not. What happened if you were in love already? Would you just fall out of love? Would you love your soulmate instantly, or would love have to develop? Could you fall _out_ of love with them? What if your soulmate died? Did the “left-over” part get a new one? Was there more than just one perfect match? Or would you be alone forever?

Many questions had been asked, but they never received answers, because no one knew how these wondrous bracelets worked. All that was known was, that when they turned the systems on, your armlet would pull you towards your soulmate. That was it; no further explanations.

One thing was certain though: The closer the launching day came, the more the anticipation escalated, as if the whole world was in a haze of excitement.

 

And so, Felix found himself, minutes before they would turn the systems on, in an old shabby bar. The walls, tables and chairs that filled it, were made of dark mahogany wood that had clearly seen many rough years and double as much drunken bar fights. Low hanging lamps which gave off a dim and barely noticeable light, provided the room with a gloomy atmosphere. Only the many colorful alcohol bottles and differently shaped glasses, that were decorating the back of the bar, were lifting the mood slightly. It had a unique charm this bar, one that Felix had long since come to love.

It was 11:50pm, Felix noted, when he read the aged clock that hung in the far corner of the room. Not long until midnight anymore. Directing his attention back to the table in front of him and his eight friends surrounding it, he saw that their drinks where empty yet again. Also, someone, probably Seungmin who was completely alcohol intolerant, had spilled his drink yet again and flooded half of the table to his left. Someone had evidently tried to save their expensively bought food and maneuvered it to the other side of the table, now finding its place in front of Jeongin who was in an animated conversation with Hyunjin. Felix knew what they were talking about without listening: Soulmates. These too had instantly fallen in love with the idea of the armlets that they were currently wearing around their wrists.

Hearing voices that quickly rose in their volume, Felix turned back towards the flooded side of the table and wasn’t surprised to see Chan, Jisung and Minho in a not so friendly looking discussion that involved a lot of gesticulating. Chan and Jisung had always been low-key fighting over the attention of Minho. Soon, it would probably stop, he thought dejectedly and observed the three for a while.

Afterwards, unable to escape the intense gaze that he knew was fixed upon him from the opposite site of the table any longer, he turned forwards and immediately got caught in a pair piercing brown eyes. Eyes that seemed to directly look into his soul, no doubt trying to understand his distanced behavior of the evening. Felix tried his best to stay calm, but if anyone could get an unwanted reaction out of him, it was Changbin. In a weak attempt to steady himself, he rested his arms on the table in front of him casually, playing with the rings around his fingers. While it didn’t help making him look less troubled, it worked in shifting Changbin’s attention towards his arms and away from his eyes.

Being here with Changbin now, it was painful. He had tried all evening long to not let his mind wander into thoughts about the older boy. Felix had known Changbin for many years and he had had a crush on him since easily more than half of that time. Admittedly, saying he had a crush was putting it lightly. Felix was sure that what he felt was love. Earnest, deep and pure love. Innumerable lonely nights had he lain awake and wondered if and how he could tell Changbin about it. His mind providing him with the most colorful situations, which ranged from a returned confession to a destroyed friendship.

In the end, Felix realized, he would never confess his feelings. This friendship they had, it was too precious, too important. Always had Felix been unstable and vulnerable, and if he fell into the black abysses of his mind again, Changbin had been there and caught him. Whenever he had needed him, he had been just a call away, no matter the day, the place or time. If homesickness filled his heart, Changbin had hugged him and not left his side until it was gone. He was his most treasured person, he felt like home and Felix could not imagine losing him, not to a confession.

Still, a tiny part of his consciousness that Felix couldn’t ignore, would mockingly ask him: What if? What if he loves you and you will regret your fears forever?

All of this wouldn’t matter anymore soon though, would it? Felix thought and broke his eyes away from the other’s emotionless face. Forlornly regarding the bracelet that wrapped itself neatly around his right wrist for a second and then shifting his view to the matching one on Changbin’s thin wrist. What was he supposed to feel about them? No one knew what would happen when the activation took place.

Before today, he had never had specific feelings about this event. Not that he had ever thought much about it; he had just gone with the flow when the metallic bangle had been fitted around his wrist. Now that the moment came closer though, he suddenly felt deeply unsettling uneasiness trickle through his veins and pooling in his stomach.

Would he stop loving Changbin and fall in love with a total stranger? Just like that? Would Changbin and him still be this close, or would his soulmate take over Felix’s place?

Surprising and overwhelming dread bubbled up in Felix, making his stomach tighten unnervingly. His eyes giving him a burning sensation while slowly filling with salty tears. He frantically started to clutch the cool metal armlet that adorned his wrist in his hand, trying desperately to calm himself down. Eyes gluing themselves onto the table, a supposedly deep breath filling his lungs. This was not the moment for his fears to take ahold of him yet again.

Losing his feelings for Changbin, maybe even, losing Changbin himself to someone else? No, he didn’t want that. Felix didn’t need a soulmate if it meant forgetting his feelings and losing the only person who understood him, who made him laugh and feel complete. The only person who felt like _home_ to him. No, he didn’t need anyone else but Changbin. He didn’t _want_ anyone else. Changbin _was_ perfect for him. He didn’t care what this stupid bracelet thought.

Anxiously, his eyes attached themselves on the clock again: 11:58pm. Mind racing, he turned his face back, getting caught in Changbin’s eyes unintentionally, yet still, he was unable to look away. These eyes that shone with warmth whenever theirs met; would they soon shine this warmly for someone else? Would they feel like coming home to someone else?

During an endless seeming moment, they overserved each other, as if wholly delving into each other. Like a mirror, Felix thought. As if he was looking into a mirror. Despair. Sadness. Regret. Longing. Yes, that’s how Felix felt right now. But why did Changbin’s eyes mirror his feelings so entirely?

Could it be… What if Changbin _did_ feel the same? Acknowledging the thought, he had continuously ignored before, uncertainty overcame him. What if they both felt the same? What, if they would lose each other forever, without ever knowing how they felt about the other? Would this love die before it ever bloomed?

Felix’s gaze broke away from the other’s and flickered towards the armlet on Changbin’s wrist for the umpteenth time this evening. Noticing out of the corner of his eyes how Changbin’s hand formed a tight fist on the table. In the background, he distantly heard everyone cheering along to the countdown until midnight that must have started some time ago.

In his ears though, he could hear a steadily growing high-pitched peeping that slowly drowned out all noises around him. His arms and legs tingled, adrenaline made every cell of his body rapidly feel awake. Panic nestled itself into his heart, weaving its dark and thorny arms deeply into it. All thoughts disappeared, his body just urged him to _move_. To do something, _anything_.

However, he didn’t move. He was incapable to do so. His emotions bound him to the suddenly stony feeling chair under him. Body turning into his prison, not cooperating, while every instinct screamed at him to act. Do something, _move_.

Ultimately, all he did, was to stare at Changbin. His eyes were filled with painfully unshed tears, his pale skin felt cold and clammy; the raging mix of agitating feelings in him making waves of coldness rush over his back, conjuring goosebumps along their way. There was nothing he could do. This was it; this would be the end. Never would they be together, not ever would the other know his feelings.

Though, hadn’t that been his goal all along?  Why then, did this moment feel like the end of everything, of them? Why did all he had worked towards to, feel so wrong suddenly?

Opposite of him, Changbin silently observed him, never breaking eye contact. Although Felix knew this, he couldn’t make out what the other thought, felt or did; his vision filled with colorless dots, robbing his sight. Try as he might, he couldn’t focus on Changbin anymore, or anything else for that matter. He noted belatedly how the fear made his breath quicken yet, still, why was it so hard to fill his lungs? Why didn’t he get any air?

Out of nowhere, two cold hands wrapped around his wrists, gaining his attention for a second. However, what they did and why they were there, Felix couldn’t tell.

His eyes caught the blurred moment of the small table in front of him falling over. Cold fingers touched his slightly bared shoulders, caressed his neck softly and glided onto his cheeks, holding them in a firm but tender grip. Steadying him. Pulling him into a standing position and into a warm body. Felix’s vision was abruptly filled with the gorgeous face he adored so much. Worried eyes dragging him into their spell, begging him, but for what, Felix couldn’t tell. Under his fingers he felt the warmed fabric of the soft hoodie he had instinctively taken ahold off.

Callous fingers that caressed his cheeks and brushed the falling tears away, brought him back to reality gradually. Changbin’s nose was grazing against his tenderly again and again, he realized sluggishly.

“-thing’s alright. You’re fine. I’m here, ‘lix. I’ll never leave.” Hurriedly, but still oddly calming words were mumbled to him. Every one of them making a breeze of warm air drift over his skin. Little by little, his fingers uncurled from the hoodie they had clutched onto. Flatly laying them against the warm fabric instead, letting the heat seep into his icy skin. A long and deep breath of air left him, calming him, letting feelings and senses return to his body. Granting him back control.

When he had closed his eyes, he didn’t know. Opening them slowly now though, the first thing he saw was Changbin. Worry was written all over his face and a crease had formed between his eyebrows. Concerned eyes found his, just watching him quietly. The tender caress of his cheeks never stopping, falling into a leisurely rhythm.

“You okay now?” a soft whisper reached his ears after a while, to which Felix responded with a quiet nod. A shadow of a smile crossed Changbin’s face at his reply, making his concerned features relax. Transfixed, Felix absorbed the rare gentleness displayed on Changbin’s face that he knew the other only ever showed for him. An unintended and barely noticeable smile stole its way onto Felix’s lips at the sight of it. Enveloped in an oddly calm moment, he leaned forward, placing his head on the others shoulder. Eyes closed, he felt Changbin’s hands brushing over his shoulders lightly and he let himself fall into the fulfilling feeling of their closeness for a fleeting moment.

Then, he involuntarily realized that the noise around them had stopped. The bar was enveloped in utter silence. Felix’s head automatically snapped towards the clock situated slightly behind Changbin’s head. 12:04am. The whole bar was completely deserted, as Felix swiftly became aware off.

Before the dull fear that wanted to take root in his heart yet again, could take over, Felix hands grabbed Changbin’s and pulled them away from his shoulders slowly, bringing them together in between them and intertwining their fingers affectionately. Only then did he dare to let his eyes roam over their wrists.

Their _bare_ wrists.

“But...” whipping his head back up and ripping his eyes off of the unexpected sight, he searched Changbin’s gaze, questions already forming in his mind. When he opened his mouth to express them though, one of Changbin’s cold fingers pressed against his lips firmly.

“I don’t care what anyone – _anything_ else thinks. You’re the only one for me.”

Their intertwined hands were lifted into the air and placed carefully onto Felix’s cheeks, which were adorned by freshly fallen tears. For a brief moment, Felix believed he was dreaming. Then, a pair of somewhat rough lips touched his own gingerly, bringing him back to reality. His cold body momentarily was on fire; goosebumps erupted on his skin and his face was dipped into a soft red hue. Closing his eyes blissfully as Changbin's smell enveloped him fully and created a calming feeling which invaded the innermost core of his being. Felix’s veins felt as if they transported pure glee throughout his body, making him smile joyfully against Changbin’s lips.

Changbin then parted their lips but never increased the distanced between them. A lovely smile adorned his lips and Felix never saw a more open and tender expression on the other. Felix detangled their intertwined fingers gently, squeezing Changbin’s hands affectionately before he took ahold of his rosy cheeks instead. They felt soft, warm and smooth and he couldn’t help but trace them adoringly.

Leaning forward, he pressed a warm peek onto the other’s nose and thereafter, longingly brought their lips back together. Kissing him deeply and losing himself to the feeling completely. Changbin’s hands found their way to his waist, holding him and pulling their bodies together intimately, aligning them together perfectly and not leaving hairs width of space between them.

A pure and overwhelming feeling of love and affection embraced Felix. Never had a moment been more terrifyingly perfect: If Changbin was the ocean, then Felix would be his endless horizon. Never to be apart again. Only they could complete each other.

 

And in puddles of mixed drinks and soaked food that had formed in a shabby bar, under a dark mahogany table that had fallen over, two abandoned armlets had found each other. They were clinging together, as if they’d once been one and even if the world ended at this very moment; they wouldn’t be parted again. Never again.

**Author's Note:**

> Written after the prompt: "In the future, romantic attraction is literal: each person is fitted with an electromagnetic bracelet which, they claim, will pull you to your soulmate. It's the day they turn the magnets on, and you're waiting."
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


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